Help Your Relationship Survive the Holidays

During this time of season, with the hustle and bustle of the holidays, we can become so busy that our relationship is put on the back burner. These are some ideas to show your partner they are still a priority in your life, that you still adore them and want to stay connected. Give it a try! Show your partner that they are your  still favorite holiday blessing!

In the next two weeks, put these items on your love calendar to make an effort and to be intentional with your relationship and with each other.  You can do them on consecutive days, on the weekends or whatever works for your schedule but DO THEM!!! MAKE THE TIME!!! Show each other that you are a priority to the other, that your relationship matters, that you appreciate one another.

1. Praise and appreciate- write up a list of 30 favorite things about each other and then read them out loud to each other

2. Date night- Create an especially elaborate meal together; plan, shop and then cook the meal together. Put on your favorite playlist and enjoy the experience.

3. Praise and appreciate-bombarding each other with high volume of bite sized love messages; use text messages, folded up pieces of paper in the car, write on the mirror, put in lunchbox, medicine cabinet, any place your loved one will easily find; aim for 10-20 throughout the day.

4. Date night-Pack up supplies and watch the stars together. Watch them on the hood of your car, with blankets on the patio, wherever. Talk about your plans for the next 5, 10, 20 years.

5. Connection exercise-extended soul gazing-face in seated position with knees close to touching and hold eye contact for 5-6 min. might feel awkward but keep doing it. No talking- if the silence is uncomfortable, play a  song or two that takes 5-6 min and commit to holding eye contact for the duration of the time. Extended eye contact with someone that you already have positive feelings towards is scientifically proven to increase feelings of connection and intimacy.

6. Share a big scary secret-make it something maybe you’ve never had the courage to share with anyone, maybe you were bullied as a child, maybe you were really hurt by something someone said or did, whatever it is, something your partner doesn’t already know about you. Sharing intimate details about our lives naturally builds connection and intimacy.

Written by Kandee Willis, LCPC, PCGC

Kandee is trained in Level 3 Gottman Method Couple’s Counseling, Gottman Seven Principles, Veteran’s Issues, Trauma, Gambling and Women’s Issues