WHAT ARE YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS?
It’s a brand new year! It’s the perfect time to start that new hobby you’ve always wanted to try, to exercise regularly, to drink more water, or whatever is on your list. But is your relationship with your partner on your list? Is that something you want to prioritize in the new year? If not now, when? Make your relationship a resolution you want to have. Make each other a priority! Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman recommends doing some 6 specific things that seem to greatly enhance relationships. How about it? Are you willing to add your relationship to your “to do” list for the new year?
6 Magic Hours
- Partings-be sure to hug and kiss your partner when they leave for the day and know at least one thing that is happening in their life that day.
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Greetings-greet your partner when they return for the day with another loving embrace and kiss-at least 20 seconds-gives the hormone oxytocin a chance to emit-the “cuddle hormone”, we all know and enjoy. Have a stress reducing conversation about your day. Remember to listen with the intent to hear and to understand, NOT with the intent to reply, just to listen.
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Compliment each other daily-say something nice to your partner, make them feel the love that you have for them, the respect, the admiration etc. Compliment them. Every. Single. Day.
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Touch-be sure to touch each other, in a nonsexual way, every day. It could be holding hands, a back rub, a caress on the face or a squeeze on the arm. Let them know physically, you’re on their side, you have their back and that they are not alone in life. Yes, a touch can communicate that much.
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Date night-make an effort to get together with just your partner on a weekly basis to either go out or have an inside date, a soul gazing session by the fire, a sexy game of naked twister- whatever floats your boat. It doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate; it just has to be about you as couple having fun enjoying one another.
- State of the Union meeting-taking time to have an hour conversation about what went right that week, what went wrong, showing appreciation for each other and ending the conversation with what can I do to make you feel loved next week?
Written by Kandee Willis, LCPC, PCGC
