Tag - Couple's Counseling

11 Apr

National Couple Appreciation Month

In celebration of National Couple Appreciation Month, Michael Blackburn has encouraged couples to participate by showing your spouse you care in unexpected ways.

Here are his 5 Unexpected Ways to Show Your Spouse You Care:

  1. Spend the day making dinner. When you take the time and effort to make someone all their favorite foods, from appetizers to dessert, it shows you care. It does not have to be perfect; in fact, taking that risk when you are not a great chef can be even more fun. It also doesn’t have to be gourmet anything. If your spouse is into nachos and hot wings, then a night of apps it is! Tailor it to their tastes and make a truly unique meal.
  2. Pick your partner’s favorite activity – that you hate – and do it for hours. If your spouse loves horror flicks and you just aren’t into them, set aside time for a movie marathon complete with their favorite snacks. If your partner is into camping, get ready to go on an overnight car trip. Do something they love that the two of you rarely do because you don’t like it and do not complain even once.
  3. Get off your phone. Too often, the job takes precedent and you are unable to give your spouse your undivided attention. Take the opportunity, no matter what you decide to do to show your appreciation, to shut down all electronic devices and give your significant other your full attention. Do not pick your phone up and stay focused on what the two of you are doing together.
  4. Offer a genuine compliment. Skip any comments on appearance or superficial things – no matter how great – and focus instead on giving your spouse a genuine, heartfelt compliment that lets them know you see all they sacrifice and do to support you as a firefighter and that you appreciate it every day.
  5. Take your time. With crazy work schedules, the demands of family and friends, and an extended period of time invested in the relationship, it is natural to put sex and/or romance on the backburner. Efficiency is often prized over creativity, which though functional, can get boring. Take the time to put your partner in the spotlight in this area, doing the things that they like most and that the two of you may rarely have time for.
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26 Jan

Happy National Spouse’s Day 1/26

NATIONAL SPOUSE’S DAY!!
WHAT A GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO LET YOU PARTNER KNOW HOW MUCH YOU ADORE THEM!!
Image result for love
1. REMIND THEM WHY YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH THEM.
2. TELL THEM YOUR FAVORITE MEMORIES OF THEM.
3. TELL THEM  OF ALL THE WONDERFUL QUALITIES THEY HAVE, WHICH ONES ARE YOUR FAVORITE.
INCLUDE THESE ELEMENTS IN A PASSIONATE LOVE LETTER REMINDING THEM WHY YOU’D CHOOSE THEM OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!
HAPPY SPOUSE’S DAY!!!
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25 Nov

Help Your Relationship Survive the Holidays

During this time of season, with the hustle and bustle of the holidays, we can become so busy that our relationship is put on the back burner. These are some ideas to show your partner they are still a priority in your life, that you still adore them and want to stay connected. Give it a try! Show your partner that they are your  still favorite holiday blessing!

In the next two weeks, put these items on your love calendar to make an effort and to be intentional with your relationship and with each other.  You can do them on consecutive days, on the weekends or whatever works for your schedule but DO THEM!!! MAKE THE TIME!!! Show each other that you are a priority to the other, that your relationship matters, that you appreciate one another.

 

  1. Praise and appreciate- write up a list of 30 favorite things about each other and then read them out loud to each other

  2. Date night- Create an especially elaborate meal together; plan, shop and then cook the meal together. Put on your favorite playlist and enjoy the experience.

  3. Praise and appreciate-bombarding each other with high volume of bite sized love messages; use text messages, folded up pieces of paper in the car, write on the mirror, put in lunchbox, medicine cabinet, any place your loved one will easily find; aim for 10-20 throughout the day.

  4. Date night-Pack up supplies and watch the stars together. Watch them on the hood of your car, with blankets on the patio, wherever. Talk about your plans for the next 5, 10, 20 years.

  5. Connection exercise-extended soul gazing-face in seated position with knees close to touching and hold eye contact for 5-6 min. might feel awkward but keep doing it. No talking- if the silence is uncomfortable, play a  song or two that takes 5-6 min and commit to holding eye contact for the duration of the time. Extended eye contact with someone that you already have positive feelings towards is scientifically proven to increase feelings of connection and intimacy.

  6. Share a big scary secret-make it something maybe you’ve never had the courage to share with anyone, maybe you were bullied as a child, maybe you were really hurt by something someone said or did, whatever it is, something your partner doesn’t already know about you. Sharing intimate details about our lives naturally builds connection and intimacy.

Written by Kandee Willis, LCPC, PCGC

Kandee is trained in Level 3 Gottman Method Couple’s Counseling, Gottman Seven Principles, Veteran’s Issues, Trauma, Gambling and Women’s Issues

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